A letter to no one (A letter to everyone)

You say you're happy, and I wish I could say the same and mean it. But the truth is, i'm lost. You were lost once too. I find myself sneaking off to try and live the same way you wished to. Maybe you went through with it, and maybe it made you happy. That's what i'm hoping for for myself. It just didn't take you 4 months to realize. I'm stuck in a swamp of helplessness, and I've been so used to everyone doing my dirty work for me, that I've realized I have no idea how to fend on my own. So many souls have been lost in my grip, and I know it hasn't always been my fault, but what can I do? I'm confused, and I'm longing for something that could either be the best thing I've ever done for myself, or the biggest mistake of my adolescent career. I've found myself not knowing where to turn, and not knowing who I should talk to. I feel alone and empty, and that dreaded day hasn't even hit yet. I've wasted so much time and I just don't know.