I'm holding onto a ghost

I miss everything, and it's incredible because it felt so long. i miss everything about you. your stupid little quirks. your goofy smile. your frivolous antics. the dance parties in my room. your upbeat demeanor. your ability to smile in shitty situations. i want all of that. i want all of you. but you don't want me. and it kills me. i always want what i can't have. please want me again.

sometimes i just sit and wait, thinking maybe something will change.

maybe our feelings will be the same again.

i wait for a move to be made.

but i know i won’t make it, i want rejection to become a stranger to me.

and i know you won’t make it.

and so, i sit and wait.

what am i doing to myself.

this blog can't only be for sadness.
i think everything is going to be okay,
good even!

The love I sell you in the evening 
By the morning won't exist

I sort of feel like a sad puppy. Wandering and following you around. Hoping for you to change your mind. But who am I kidding. It's still not going to change anything. My parents don't understand it, my friends don't understand it, sage doesn't understand it, I understand it, but it doesn't make it hurt less. Such a loss.

premonition