Fading

My summer scars are finally fading. Blending into the edges, they're just barely visible. Past hurt reaching point of disappearance. Almost forgotten. That skinned knee in the pool and all those blows to my heart. Evidence of blistering heat and sharp tongues still remain proving once reality. But time heals, and the months have made once-open wounds nearly smooth. That season of easy bruising brought me to thicker skin.

pre-marsupial heart identity

Without fail, each late night I lay awake squinting from the blinding light. My guard comes down, my clenched fist loosens & once again promises and inhibitions tumble to the floor. The same beautiful thoughts start dancing through my head, as well as the sinful potential.  Daring me to risk all my hard work. And without the calluses I built up on my heart.. I would be putty. A goner; spilling my soul for nothing. Two am, i'm ready to burst with every pent up feeling I have in me. But I ache, weary and shaking, And finally thrust into the abyss. Always mere seconds from my breaking point. Leaving my pathetic confessions on the tips of my thumbs.

And as daylight breaks, relief and regret strike simultaneously. Leaving me with perpetual "what if's" and a heavy heart.

and this is my thank you

You were an unexpected blessing. Sunshine on the darkest of days. You were the epitome of comfort and safety, contentment and bliss. For the time I had you, you were my escape from reality. I was taught the beauty of appreciating the normally inappreciable. With you, I fell into different dimensions and shared tight embrace with the alternate floor. It comes back every now and then, and I smile in remembrance.

This is my thank you.

running down to the garden barefoot just isn't the same when there's clouds about

I sometimes wish I could go back to mid-December, when my whole life was a roller coaster. I was full of adrenaline and endorphins. It was all so exciting and new, and all my bad thoughts were completely gone. It was an eager time, it was a learning process, and it was a period of discovery. I learned that there was so much more out there. That I wasn't confined anymore. That this was all a blessing.

I would like to relive mid-December again soon, if possible.

I am too hormonal for memories

Goodbye and good riddance,

I am a happy girl!
And I don't need any boy to make me that way.
Not one soul.